Well hi there dear Readers! How are you today? I'm great! Did you find everything you were looking for? Yes, I could help you find that. I know; since we arranged the store everyone is having a difficult time locating their favorite items. I could get you a directory listing. Yes, they are right over here ma'am. No, please leave your watermelon in the cart; I don't need it to up here to add it on to your bill – yes the case of Pepsi, case of water, and industrial sized pack of tampons can also remain your cart – George will come around and scan those items for you. Of course I can break a hundred if you buy a pack of gum. Oh did the sign say these prime ribs were supposed to ring up for $.50 per pound? Well then I have to give them you at that price – I'll be right back just have to check on that sign, ok? (trust but verify) Sir, let me come around there and scan that case of beer under your dog food – I can see how you forgot it – it is almost completely covered up by the paper towels. Cigarettes? Yes I will sell you cigarettes – as soon as you are big enough to reach the counter to show me your ID. No, we cannot make an exception to the county law that prohibits the sale of beer on Sundays even for the neighbor of the Mayor's best friend's pet groomer's husband's cousin, sorry sir.
Most women who buy a single pack of gum will ask for it to be left out so that they can place it safely in their purse – where it can be hidden from their thieving offspring.
Most Hispanics will buy Mission brand tortillas and roma tomatoes – every time they come to the store.
There is a difference in price (and nothing else as far as I can see) between Jonathon and Gala apples. Granny Smith and JonaGold may look alike but they are not even close.
Dillon's sales 14 different kinds of apples – each at a slightly different price – it is my job to know which is which.
We carry almost as many different types of lettuce.
If it says "organic" people will buy it thinking it is good for them. Sorry but "organic" M&M's are not healthier for you to consume boys and girls. How can something packed in a can be organic? Wouldn't ya think that if "fresh cut organic corn" could be stored on a shelf without preservatives we would stop spending the money to refrigerate and watering the stuff over in the produce section?
How about this statement I was giving today – Me: "Oh I really like that brand of sweet tea" Her: "Yeah I'm dieting so I stopped drinking soda" Me: " Did you know one of these (16oz) bottles of tea has 190 calories?" Her: "Yeah but that is WAY (emphasis added by her not me) less than a same amount of soda." Not said: if you consider 10 calories WAY less then yes I guess so. She also bought four bags of kit kats and three bags of snickers – they were for trick or treaters.
Non-smokers do not know the difference between Salem, Marlboro, and Camel. Only one of the Customer Service People smoke – they are the only ones with access to cigarettes.
They sale flavored peanut butter. Isn't peanut butter often used to flavor other things? I mean would you like a peanut butter, raisin cookie or raisin cookie flavored peanut butter?
Did you know that if you buy 16 cups of ice cream you will eat less than if you bought 1 gallon? That may take some of you a while to get.
Grandmas buy more junk for the kids than mom does. Dad buys the most. Grandpas are not allowed to take the grandkids to the store unless accompanied by mom or grandma. Under no circumstances shall dad and grandpa be allowed to be together, with children in tow, unless moms and grandmas out number dads and grandpas 2 to 1. I think this is a law in some states.
Cold, prepared food (from the deli) can be purchased with food stamps. Candy may be purchased with food stamps. $1000.00 worth of lobster and steaks may be purchased with food stamps. Hot food (from the deli) and paper products may not be bought using food stamps. You cannot buy beer using food stamps. You can get cash back from your vision card and then use that to buy beer.
Approximately 60% of people use food stamps to buy groceries. This statement is not meant to be a judgment. I only wish I had data to compare to before our current economic situation. I think it would be an interesting way to see if things are getting better or worse for the "working" class.
One woman bragged to me that she had not bought store bread in over 50 years. That none of her children (all boys) had eaten store bread until they got married. She claimed to never have worked outside the home in over 50 years of marriage and that she still prepared Sunday dinner, after church, from scratch – every Sunday – usually without help from her daughters (remember she told me she had only boys?). Can you imagine the bar she must set for her daughter-in-laws?
Well Readers that is how Mike tells it. Until the next time – have a great day!
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