Pre-Work Blues

I don't know about you, dear Reader, but I absolutely hate the time between waking up and work. For that matter I don't really like the work part either. Maybe that is why the lead in time is so dreadful? There is the routine, mundane things that must take place each day and there are the unexpected delays – read procrastination – that force me into a hurry up and rush mode. Let's start from the beginning shall we?

So the alarm, or evil cat, wakes me up. I hate alarm clocks almost more than I hate evil hell spawned kittens! I don't want to leave the bed; the house is always so damn cold (well compared to the warmth and safety of bed). I get up; freezing floor on bare feet is always a favorite eye opener. I find a few itches to scratch – maybe release a little gas built up over night. Ok so it is more like a safety valve releasing excessive pressure from a boiler. Find another itch to scratch; stretch, which leads to more release of gas, of course. Scratch, adjust mis-located parts – remember it is cold so sometimes these parts are harder to relocate. My bedroom is located on the bottom floor so I climb the 300 stairs to find the bathroom occupied – note to self: we need to get that second bathroom added soon. First Born loves mornings and seems to be able to time his getting up just right to delay my desperate need for use of the facilities. After finally emptying my bladder the journey to coffee begins.

Now we have one of those coffee pots that you could set the timer on and coffee would be ready when you got up. We discovered, however, that one must first put the water and grinds into the blasted machine or it will make no coffee. That can be frustrating if you are a person that functions on caffeine and finds it difficult to operate prior to that first coffee of Joe. Ok so maybe I'll have a smoke and wait on the coffee – but shit the garage is colder than the house! Well I guess I could take a shower first, get dressed and then have a cup of coffee. Well after I check Facebook to see if anyone posted anything between midnight and 5am (ok so today is Sunday and I don't start work until noon and didn't get up until 9:30) that I could not survive if I missed it.

Well now that I'm on the computer I should check email too. While I'm doing that I need to see if anyone actual read my blog yet. Man I need some coffee – o yeah I need to make coffee. See I got distracted thinking about the exciting things that my Facebook family might have done instead in sleep that I forgot to make the coffee! So climb the 3000 steps again to the make coffee – the office is also in the basement. Ok, now I will have a smoke while I wait – nope garage is still too damn cold without clothes and I can't put on clothes until I shower. I don't want to shower before coffee and a smoke – that would mess up my routine wouldn't it? I mean I can't change the routine NOW everything has its place and time to occur! Right? Yes I am always right in my world and this, dear Reader, is a small piece of Mike's World here – get over it already.

So coffee is brewing. Maybe I'm hungry – fat guys are always hungry (just a factoid I know you needed to know). Well what can I make that takes little to no time and goes with coffee? Ahhhh! Left over pizza from Friday night should work just fine! So pop the pizza in the nuke machine (I have long since grown out of cold pizza for breakfast – at least I now put it in the fridge there was once upon a time when Friday's pizza would still be on the table waiting for consumption on Sunday) COFFEE IS DONE!!!!!! Ok now I need some clothes to go out for a smoke with my coffee. By the way, just in case you were wondering, I do not sleep naked (sorry to ruin any fantasies here ladies); I sleep in my boxers. So find my sweat pants (one would think that if this a normal morning routine my sweats would be easily located – if you think that then you don't me very well at all) – how did they end up in the shoe closet? OOOOh yeah I was rushing Friday morning to work and took them off with my house shoes on my way to the shower. They got kicked further back when I realized that I needed my house shoes to walk to the shower and had to throw the pants away from the shoes.

Shit I have to be at work in 30 minutes, I still need to shower! Ok I will take a quick shower – after I smoke and drink coffee. So enjoy my coffee and smoke. It should not take 20 minute to smoke one cigarette! Throw my shoes (and pants in the shoes closet – WAIT need the shoes! Take a rushed shower (did I get behind my ears and under my dangles?) O well no time for details! Where are my clothes for work!? Aww the Ole Lady has taken care of me yet again – they are neatly folded on the top of my dresser.

Now for the 15 minute drive into town for work – I HAVE 5 MINUTES!!! So jump in the car and drive as fast traffic allows – which is generally below the speed limit – it is Sunday after all. My boss wonders why I'm late! Has he not seen how slow these people around here on Sundays?

Fall Mornings

There a few things I love about fall. The changing weather, the changing colors of the leaves, football season, an end to the freaking allergy season, but my favorite thing about fall has to be the early mornings. Getting up early is never a fan favorite in my book – I hate mornings as a general rule. I do think that I would be better off as a vampire – aside from the whole drinking of blood thing – because I usually get a resurgence of energy around midnight every night. However on the rare fall morning where I do get up early (or have stayed up all night which happens more often than getting up early) I love to grab a cup of coffee and sit outside in the chill air, smoke a cigarette (I know, I know but I really enjoy my cigarettes despite the inherit detriment to my heath) and enjoy the peace that always comes with one these mornings.

That brings us to this morning. The Ole Lady is working nights but generally gets home around 5:30am each day. She gets the kids up and ready for school before going to bed herself. Well this week she has to work until 10:00am a couple of days so I get the pleasure of waking up early and sending the boys on the bus and taking The Princess to daycare before journeying off to work myself. Now I did manage to get myself shut down at about 1:00am this morning knowing I had to get up at 6:30am to wake up First Born and Grumpy (Number Two's general demeanor in the mornings – he is so much like me).

Did I mention we have a new cat? First Born begged The Ole Lady to get a cat – cute little guy. Well so I thought he was a cute little guy. Did you know that kittens do not like feet? Well let me rephrase that – they don't like your feet when you're asleep. So this morning Satan's Spawn digs his knitting needle sized claws into my foot at about 0'dark thirty (it was 5:00am!!!! Did I mention I hate mornings?) I think I hit my head on the ceiling, I know the cat sprung wings – most hell spawns are winged right? – the blow to the head apparently knocked me out because I was fully asleep when he attacked the second time. This time he revised his attack plan. He first climbed up and cuddled with me as if to apologize for the first attack. I was gullible enough to fall for his purring diversionary tactic (Stupid me). So there I am blissfully dreaming of what all men generally dream about – yep puppies and lollipops – when out of nowhere this evil beast has my hand in a death grip. Claws dug into either side of hand, his weight pinning my hand to the bed and his fangs……more like twin scimitars…..dug into my forefinger. I tried to dislodge him but he was too powerful, it was no use – I was going to be eaten by this seemingly innocent, cute kitten. My life flashed before my eyes – and it was not good. Somehow I finally mustered the strength to throw him off of me – did you know that hell spawned cats have wings? Yeah, he began dive bombing me; jumping up and coming down at my vulnerable little fingers with his razor sharp scimitar-like fangs and knitting needle claws. My only escape was to get out of bed – I think that was his sole motivation in the first place – he wanted my warmed up spot on the bed – because immediately after I vacated the safe (prior to the arrival of Hell Spawned Kitten) warm bed he curled up in my spot and fell right to sleep.

So it is now time to get the boys up. I know this will be a chore – Grumpy still has not found the joy of early mornings. Well not so early he only has to get up 45 minute or so before the bus arrives to drag him off to school. First Born has his mother's attitude towards getting up – he pops right out of bed and is dressed in seconds. Number Two on the other hand…..he fights, he screams, he hollers, he whines, he throws a fit – and that is just from me turning on the lights. I know what you, dear reader, are thinking – he needs more sleep. Well we have tried that and with the same results whether he sleeps 8 or 20 hours. He never has clothes to wear despite the over packed drawers and closet. All of his jeans are either too small or too big or too this or too that. The shirts are either … well you get the point. Once he is awake and retains his pleasant, joyful, fun-loving self he could not care less what he is wearing – he would put on one of Princess Laughs A lot's dresses (and has – that was funny but for another day). So the boys are on the bus and off to school. I have 30 minutes before my Princess has to get up- she is so much like Number Two that I know what to expect there…….

So in those 30 minutes I do enjoy that coffee (somewhat cold now but still good) and smoke. It was amazing and peaceful. As I am coming back into the house I notice that one of The Ole Lady's dogs must be sick – luckily I noticed before stepping into it……….. It is hard to convince myself that today will be a good day, but I do choose for today to be a good day.

I hope your mornings are as pleasant as mine!

All about Mike

Hello. This will be my first blog entry. There many many many things that I should be doing instead writing this but I just have been obsessed with blog recently and want to try writing my own. I can always go back to what I need to be doing after this is done right?
So maybe you want to know something about me – besides that I am a habitual procrastinator. Actually I am a professional procrastinator. That is my best skill – why do now what can be done some other time in the future? That is my life’s motto. I am hoping to use this blog to help me procrastinator less – but that will come later. Today I want to talk religion and politics – the two things that are forbidden in polite conversation. So if you are of the polite persuasion please stop read now.
I am a father (two boys and a girl – many stories will come from these three so you meet them later), a husband (The Ole Lady – she will inspire many more stories to blog about and some of them I just might have to share publically) and that lazy guy in front of the computer most of the time. I currently work as Customer Interfacing Unit Operator at one of the local grocery stores. Ok I am a checker – best known as a cashier. I am not sure what minimum wage is anymore but I know that I not been paid this close to it since I was in High School. I am a security and refrigeration specialist. You might ask how these two fit together – but they don’t so don’t ask. I am current in school working on my AACJS – Associates of Art in Criminal Justice Systems. I finish that in November 2010. I have worked in refrigeration/HVAC from 1997 to 2009. In 2007 my best friend and I started a security company. Long of the short is we are still best friends but not business partners.
I am spiritual but not religious. I believe that there is a divine presence and that we all have a destiny that will be fulfilled. However our destiny is not scratched in stone – we have choices that have to be made. These choices have serious ramifications on where we end up in the end. Now I am talking about Heaven or Hell here – that is so Middle Ages. I believe in karma and reincarnation of the soul. I fully believe that everything happens for a reason and that we may never know what that reason is – sometimes we do things so that others can be effected and get their results.
Politically I lean towards the right but see some of the liberal/progressive movements as good ideas. I will go on about these as the blog develops – if the blog develops. I do not support Obama as President. Not because he is black, born in Kenya, or any of those other “talkin point issues”. I disagree with him politically. I believe in small un-intrusive central government. I believe that a person should be able to reap that which he sows – good or bad – without interference from some know-it-all politician. I understand that a free market is the only thing that can save our country financially and that excessive government regulation of private industry is a bad thing. At the same time I think greed is evil and that the universe will right itself. Balance is the natural state of the universe – when too much greed and corruption comes along the Universe will purge the bad apples so to speak.
That is not saying that the free market should be completely unregulated. Humans need rules – boundaries – in which to operate. There have to rules and consequences for breaking those rules. The Universe will self regulate but sometimes we need to help her along. The Universe is not discerning and offers no second chances – I believe everyone deserves one – repeat in bold capital letters ONE second chance. If we wait to regulate ourselves until the Universe purges the evil some innocent or at least savable lives will be lost.
Ok someday I will get into details about each of the subjects hinted at here but not this day. I will do it later. Like I said I hope this will help me stop procrastinating – just not going work on that right now. I also promise I will use more humor in future blog postings. I am actually a funny guy – but I won’t be posting my picture so some of you will know just how funny.
That is just as Mike tells it.